It’s 8 A.M. and as usual I am ready with my laptop and car keys. As soon as I started the car, my radio started delivering news. May be yesterday I was listening to AIR FM Gold. I didn’t want to spoil my morning with news of murder, fraud, rape and so many depressing stories. Randomly I tuned-in Big FM, an advertisement was going on. The RJ was trying to tell everything in a single breath “If you really want to say thanks to someone, this is the time…”. Normally I prefer to skip those nonsense, but not this time. May be he was good in his profession or may be his words found my heart. Before the advertisement is replaced by another, he was able to present me a face to whom I am thankful but never stitched some words to express the feeling. It’s my father, whom I never said how much I love him. A series of memories flashed.
Memories took me to the year 2004, when I was in college and doing graduation. I was not allowed to take out my dad’s scooter for a walk (well, drive). It was a green LML Vespa NV. I had a valid license but still most of my proposals were rejected. He was very strict father I tell you. If there is any situation where I need the scooter and I know I can’t get it by simply asking, I had a unique way to make him say yes. I used to play his favorite singer “Hemant Mukherjee” on my PC in low volume. When my dad asked me to raise the volume, it means he is enjoying the tracks. After playing some more from his favorites, I simply ask him for the scooter keys and it was gladly accepted. Music or say quality music can be a costly affair.
Time flies, now I am a software engineer. 3Yrs back I booked my dream car. I wanted my parents to be present on the day it will be delivered to me but they can’t manage to match the dates. One fine day (after 3-4 months), he gave me a call and asked me to book train tickets for them. My parents are coming, I quickly booked the tickets. Then the next day, I sent my car to the service station so that there is no visible dents or scratches. I don’t want my dad to say “You see son, this is the reason I avoid giving you the scooter keys.” I bought a pen drive and put all his favorite Bengali songs. I had a full plan in place. We (my parents, my wife and I) all are going to Jaipur on my car for a small trip. He is a self made man, his journey from poverty to class 1 officer is inspiring. This time I will not carry my laptop with me and keep a different number to talk to people I like. I have heard some of his stories when my uncle use to visit my place and they share old memories. I don’t why I didn’t talk to him about his younger days, or why I didn’t talk to him much? This time things would be different, I thought. I’ll ask him about his fight, about his school days and lots more. Since I booked their tickets a little late, the tickets were yet to get confirmed. At around 1PM, I received the message that tickets are confirmed. I called my dad and let him know the berth numbers. He said that he will ring me up as soon as he boards the train. At 5PM I received a call from my younger brother. “Cancel the tickets, father is admitted to a hospital for breathing problem”, said my brother’s serious voice. After a battle of 7 days, he gave up, my dad is gone.
Something has shaken me, probably the bumpy road brought me to the present. I looked down at the empty USB port. I want to hear a voice from the back seat “Son, can you please raise the volume a bit?” . Alas! That will never happen. It’s because of my parents and their prayers that made me what I am. If I am a bit successful, it’s their belief only. I had no hopes, I had no future, I don’t know how life turned up to be what it is now. Some people can really do magic. My parents did the magic and turned my life. But today I will talk about my dad.
I have never said how much I loved him. It took me nearly 26 years to know how much he loved me. When I left home for my PG, he was in tears along with my mother at the railway station. If I am sad, I don’t know how he come to know and gave me a call and say “I am not feeling well, are you OK?”. I wanted to thank him, I wanted to say how much I loved him and for that I took 26 years, first for the realization and another 2 months to fix a date to confess the same. And.. the day never arrived. So the RJ was right, if you want to say thanks, today is the day. Someone has said so true “If you love me, tell me when I am alive”.
I don’t know when I reached office. Took some time to control the emotions. we have arrived to a place where emotions are not allowed to enter because company pays you for the work they need.